Waiting On God’s Timing

Waiting on God’s timing felt like an insurmountable challenge throughout my journey. I had always been a woman of faith, but in this particular season, my faith was put to the ultimate test.

My journey began with a choice, a decision to enter into marriage without seeking God’s guidance or pastoral counsel. At the time, I was over fifty, confident that I knew my heart and what was best for me. I believed I was ready for love again, but I soon discovered just how much I needed God’s wisdom.The marriage, while filled with moments of hope, became a place of not physical, but emotional turmoil. My husband carried deep wounds from his past, scars that I had not fully understood when I said, “I do.”

Over time, those wounds manifested as anger, frustration, and emotional distance. I found myself crying out to God, asking, “Lord, where are You? Why aren’t You answering me?” In my frustration, my instinct was to leave, to run away from the pain and uncertainty, as I did with a previous marriage, but the Holy Spirit whispered something different to my heart: “Stay. Wait on Me.” Hearing these words was one of the hardest things I’ve ever experienced, let alone obeying them. Yet deep within, I knew they were undeniably from God.

With reluctance, I chose to stay. With trembling hands and a heart burdened with weariness, my prayers began to change. I stopped asking God to fix my husband or alter my circumstances. Instead, I cried out, “Lord, teach me patience. Teach me to love him as You love him.” In His infinite mercy, God responded, working not just in my situation, but in me.

This is not to suggest that staying is the right choice for everyone facing similar challenges. Abuse is a deeply personal and painful experience, and each person must seek God’s guidance to discern whether to stay or to leave. My hope is that you will listen closely for His voice and find peace in following the path He reveals to you.

He began to open my eyes to my husband’s struggles, revealing the pain he carried from years of rejection and betrayal. I saw that his actions, though hurtful, were not about me, they were the result of a heart in need of healing. God softened my heart, showing me how to extend grace and love in the midst of the hurt. Through His Word, I learned what unconditional love truly meant.

As I waited on God, something miraculous began to happen. Slowly but surely, I saw changes in my husband. His heart softened, his actions became gentler, and his spirit began to open to the love of God. This wasn’t a quick or easy process. There were days when I felt like giving up, but the Holy Spirit reminded me that my husband was God’s assignment to me, a sacred calling to stand in the gap for him spiritually.The greatest lesson I learned during this time was that waiting on God’s timing isn’t passive, it’s active. It’s praying, surrendering, trusting, and believing that God is working, even when you can’t see it. It’s holding onto His promises and allowing Him to transform you in the process.

In the final season of my husband’s life, when he was in hospice care, God gave me a moment I will never forget. As I sat by his side, he reached out, gently cupped my face in his hands, and said, “Thank you for being my angel.” Tears filled my eyes as I realized that God had used me to show him His love.Waiting on God’s timing was not easy, but it was worth every tear, every prayer, and every moment of surrender. Through this journey, I saw my husband come to know the true meaning of God’s love before he stepped into eternity. And for that, I give God all the glory.

If you find yourself in a season of waiting, hold fast to the promise of Psalm 27:14. “Wait on the Lord: Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.” His timing is perfect, and the purpose He has for you is greater than anything you could ever imagine.